Tag Archives: Emotions

Wounds. Time. Healing.

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Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Mine was great, especially since I got everything that I wanted. Today  I thought I would talk a little bit about time healing all wounds. Here is a personal story:

Many years ago I had the best friend anyone could ask for. She and I were super close and would do practically anything for each other. We became a part of each others families and were more like sisters than friends. About 5 years into our friendship, things began to change and by the time we were both 25 or so, we had a major disagreement and we fell out of friendship. I was mad at her and she was mad with me…we walked away from the friendship with no looking back. A few years after our friendship dissolved, I decided to reach out to her and offer my apologies for my part in destroying our friendship…she declined and was totally cold toward me. This made me even more angry and I was hurt deeply…and at this point I said to hell with it. That was 10 years ago.

Back in August of this year, we connected on Facebook haphazardly (we have mutual friends) and she initiated small talk. We chatted like this off and on for the last few months. Never mentioning the past or any of the things that had happened and on last Thursday I get a Facebook message from her asking if I could meet with her to talk since she would be in town. I have to be honest and say that I was hesitant to meet her, but after thinking about it, I agreed to the meeting. All I could think of leading up to she and I meeting was what in God’s name did we have to talk about? 10 years ago we became disjointed so talking would probably be the most awkward thing in the world and I surely didnt want to be rehashing the past at all. Fast forward to Sunday (Christmas Day) I meet up with her, we exchange a cordial hug and the first thing out of her mouth was that she was totally sorry for being such a jerk. WTF! are you serious…I really could not believe what I was hearing. Basically she confessed that she was angry hurt and self-righteous and she refused to deal with her own feelings and actions and projected everything as being my fault, simply because it was the easy thing to do. She admitted that with time she has been able to deal with personal issues that caused her to act the way she did and in doing so, it became clear that our friendship was/has been the most authentic relationship that she has ever had. Listening to her talk I was flabbergasted. The conversation ends with us both apologizing for the last time and catching up on the last 10 years. How’s that for a Christmas present.

So does time heal all wounds? I cant say that it does. Time is a catalyst for dealing with issues that hinder wounds from healing. Healing is an active process, not a passive one. If we have a cut and do nothing to clean it out,  it will probably form a scab. It might take longer and it might develop an infection, but the wound will most likely close and leave a scar. I was hurt for years about this issue, but I let the scab cover the pain and never dealt with the underlying hurt. Healing does not just happen…we must participate in the process of our healing whether emotional or physical.  Healing is a gift that we give to ourselves the moment we decide to stay open to that which has broken us.

So time does not heal, but healing does take time. Give yourself the gift of time. In order to become whole again you must be open to the pain of what caused the wound in the first place.

Beginning Again

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If you have followed my blog for the last year or so, you are familiar with the Journey to Me series that I started when I was on blogger. For the new readers,  Journey to Me was sort of an autobiographical piece that I began sharing with the blogosphere in hopes of helping others who had been in similar situations and it was also therapeutic for me, in that I had never shared of lot of the things with anyone. I stopped writing Journey to Me because it was emotionally draining and I needed a time out. It takes a lot to go back into your past and pull things out that you hadn’t really dealt with…so basically I took a break. I have decided to start the series again within the next week. What I will do is re-post the first 10 entries for those who are new to my blog. After they are all re-posted, I will start fresh with entry #11. Although this is my personal life, I welcome and encourage comments on what you read. Thanks for beginning the journey with me again.

Deal With It, Get Therapy

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So the question is: “Would You Go To A Therapist”?

For me, the answer to this question is yes, I would and I have and it was the best thing that I could have done for myself. It’s amazing to me that in 2010, so many people have an aversion to seeing a shrink.  What’s wrong with finding someone to help you deal with your issues? Why is there such a stigma attached to it? A friend of mine stated that Jesus was her therapist and no man could help her like HE could. I do agree, that if you are a spiritual person, going to God with your problems/issues is very important, but there are times when you need more…this is where the help of a therapist becomes valuable.

We all need help from time to time…professional help at that. It’s my belief that the non-believers of therapy are adverse to it because they don’t want to put in the work that therapy requires…they don’t want to deal with the issues that are causing the problem because dealing with the issues can be PAINFUL. Therapy is work and it requires you to explore areas of your life in an emotionally meaningful ways, but it pays off in the end. Dealing with our issues and ultimately resolving them makes us more productive in this thing called life. There is no need to be ashamed or embarrassed to seek out help when it’s needed.